Of Love and Lies

(Love is never having to say you're sorry.)

Every once in a awhile I browse through my junk emails, just to make sure nothing important has found it's way in there and because I get a small chuckle out of the ridiculous claims that I could have a bigger penis with offers of magic pills.
But one in particular caught my eye. Among the penis enhancements, direct buys, web design degrees, and police training there was one I couldn't help but click on.
The subject read, "Life is short: Have a discreet Affair" and was from some woman named Ashley Madison.

Now, whether or not Ashley Madison is a real person or not is not my concern. Nor that fact that apparently Dr. Phil, Tyra Banks, or Ellen Degeneres (all, for the most part, upstanding people) were endorsing this. Really, Ellen? Ya right. Or that CNN took the time to broadcast something about this... but it will change my life, GUARANTEED! (Note, it does not specify whether it will change it for better or for worse. )

Does anybody actually believe this? That you can have an affair and you will not feel guilty or upset? That you will actually get away with it? I assume that if you're actually in love with someone, you wouldn't even think about cheating, much less actually do it and be guilt-free.

If love is never having to say you're sorry, then is it the same as never actually having feelings for someone in the first place?

Of Adendums and Amendments

In an addendum to my previous post, I've been following this story.
http://feministing.com/2008/04/30/yale_womens_center_harassers_f_1/

What upsets me most (aside from the blatant misuse of the first amendment rights) is that these guys are so spineless that they lose complete sight of their morals (weak character, anyone?) in order to gain friends. Rack up another point against ever joining the greek life.

Of Crowing and Character

(A good rooster can crow anywhere.)

As mentioned in my last post, I am not exactly where I would like to be in my life. But I'm beginning to realize that the more time I spend here, the more I like it. It's so beautiful and peaceful and relaxed. Many things are based on the honor system and we trust strangers as we would trust neighbors (in such a small place, they essentially are.) The vibe of people here is different– it's a standard we hold each other to of independence yet offering a helping hand will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. As Vermonters, we are fiercely independent but not enough so to not offer help when needed or refuse when it is offered to us. It's an attribute I admire and hope I've adopted.
Good personality traits are signs of a strong character, something more people should aspire to instead of being rich and famous. Quality is quality no matter how you put it. A person with good, honest character can handle anything, can stick with their beliefs in any situation, anywhere. A person of poor character is that person in movies who plays the evil characters sidekick. They're weak and what's worse is that they don't have their own beliefs, they follow someone else's.
Maybe that's why there are so many roosters in Vermont.



See? How can I leave this?

(You do not have to know where you are going to be headed into the right direction.)

Interesting post-grad thought there. It's true, I mean, I walked across the stage and grabbed my diploma, only to descend from said stage and the life I had known for four years to head into "The Great Unknown." Ok yes, I had some form of a plan in my head, but as we all know, plans change. Mine certainly have– the same structure is there, but life has shifted quite a bit. It's a good thing I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person.
But I digress.
In talking with the head of an agency I occasionally freelance for, he mentioned how our line of work is unstable and how that would never change. He's right. If you want a steady paycheck, normal hours, benefits, and what most people would view as a "secure" (also known as so boring I would want to pull my hair out) then go work at the Post Office. I'm not saying that this dream of the kids playing in the yard, the spouse making you dinner, and you using hedge trimmers to keep the yard neat is a bad thing– that's what some people want, they dream of growing up and being an adult with a life that's secure.
But if you're more like me, you quite enjoy this blindly stepping off a stage and diving head first into God knows what. It's fun for us. Life's hiccups are what keep us on our toes and we learn to provide our own stability. We have a path, although not always clear of where it's going or how rough the journey might be, there is still a path that we carve. We may have the appearance of a somewhat "stable" life (and emotionally, financially, and mentally, there is a good chance it is) but we don't use hedge trimmers on our lawns- we much prefer the danger of a machete.

And trust me, sometimes blindly stepping into "The Great Unknown" launches you into the best direction you never even thought of.

Of Forgiveness and Forgetting

(To forgive is to forget.)

Not that I am always one to agree with the fortunes that cross my desk every once in awhile, but this one has me thinking. I feel like I should agree with it; you forgive someone for doing you wrong and you move on. Is it that simple? On the other hand (the more realistic and often cynical one) if someone hurts you, of course you are going to be cautious in accepting the extension of their proverbial olive branch. (Personally, I'd use it as fire wood, but I'm a little jaded.)

My dictionary widget defines 'forgive' as "to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake."
The same dictionary defines 'forget' as "to put out of one's mind; cease to think of or consider."
2+2 here is not equalling 4. How do you forget emotions that tend to run so strong? I mean, I'm sure my sister will never forget the time I hit her in the head with a roller skate, but in the past 15 years or so she has found it in her heart to forgive my childish antics. But what about unfaithful lovers? Or disloyal friends? At one time or another in all of our lives, we have been or will be betrayed. How can that be forgotten? The damage is done but even with forgiveness it is impossible to forget the worst wrong doings.

It is in human nature to want to forgive the people we love for their reckless behaviors, but impossible to forget. They are not one in the same, as this fortune suggests.

I suppose it's only slightly ironic that upon breaking open this cookie I happened to rip the fortune in half.

Of Squeaky Wheels and Speaking Up

(It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.)

Aside from this phrase seeming to be far from an ancient proverb, I quite agree with it.

A professor once asked us, as a class, how we felt about Obama's plan for healthcare reform (this was just before the presidential election.) Some students (unsurprisingly) weren't aware of what the reform would be like and the professor explained it basically as people like us (artists, who, for many, health insurance is provided by themselves) had complained at how hard it was for us to pay for health insurance and how we all thought it was a complete scam. He also explained how we were such a small percentage of these kind of people who didn't have health insurance (he was implying the kind of people that should be able to afford it and even went as far as to say it was unfair of us because people who were less fortunate couldn't do anything about it) and that because we had spoken up it was changing for everyone and not in a good way.
Aside from the blatant stereotyping and classifying of us, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew what the health care reform was about (I grew up in a political household, if I didn't know what was going on around me I'm pretty sure my father would disown men) and it was nothing like this man was saying. And what was worse, was I was watching my classmates– men and women of voting and thought-forming age- believe him! They ate it up as a truth, just as they did when he talked about advertising and branding (to his credit, he did know about those things.)
The thing that made me most angry was probably that he was implying that we shouldn't have spoken up to begin with. Oh, I'm sorry, I must have made a wrong turn somewhere- I thought this was the United States?!
This professor knew I spoke out quite often and he knew that I kept up with politics and that I had an opinion on pretty much everything under the sun (mind you, I try to keep my mouth shut if it's something I'm not well informed about... operative word there being 'try') and he turned on me. He asked why I was being so quiet and what it was I thought about this "health care business."
I stared at the table for a moment.
"The squeaky wheel gets the grease."

Of Kelly Cutrone and Copywriting

(After the rain comes the Sun.)

Not long ago when I was still a college student (admitting that still stings), famous publicist Kelly Cutrone came to lecture. With her black uniform and 'take no prisoners' attitude, she was both terrifying and fabulous. She didn't have anything prepared to say. She stood in front of the packed Student Center of aspiring artists and designers and asked what it was we had wanted to hear.
At almost $40,000 a year, not a single one of us had been asked that question. No one had an answer.
And so she did just what you would expect Ms. Cutrone to do. She pointed that out, told us to get our shit together, and went on to tell us what it was we actually needed to hear.
She told us that in life, sometimes you will have winter, winter, winter, winter, winter, winter, winter, and winter. Then, one day, you'll feel the sun and realize you've passed the days of dreary blankness and have moved on. And most of the time, that's just how it is. You can't escape that season but once you have, you appreciate everything so much more.

Since graduation and arriving home, I spent almost every day sitting at my desk, attempting to find a job. I tried to design. I tried to write. I tried to do something productive with my very expensive degree. But all I seemed to be good at was laying in bed watching bad VH1 television. I applied to jobs, nobody called back. I scoured every newspaper and job website. I put the word out with everyone I knew who had a job in hopes that their company might be hiring. Nothing.
For the first four weeks of summer, I experienced nothing but winter.

But guess who just found summer in the form of a freelance copywriting job.

Oh, hello Sun, nice to see you again.